I was once told by a friend that we should learn how to love without reasons because it is only then that the love we give is done freely. She said that such love does not depend on the action or inaction of others and if they cease doing what they do, then our love wouldn’t fade away and die. Back then, I thought there was no way this kind of love could happen; we all love people for reasons. They are good to us, they take care of us, they spend time with us, they are kind, and consequently, we end up repaying this with love. Sometimes they stop doing the things we want them to do, and we feel as if we love them a little less.
Over the years, I have come to learn that we can love unconditionally. We love like this by letting go of people and things in our hearts. Letting go of everything we tie ourselves to and think we can’t live without but in a real sense, we don’t need. Letting go of situations we think define us, made us who we are, our past and mistakes. We let go; no one owes us anything and whatever we’ve been through doesn’t have any hold over us. We let go and only then do we love without reason, without expectations; unconditionally. Only then can we give ourselves entirely to love.
That might feel like we’re losing everything we have and all the people around us. However, nothing is indeed ours, we came to this world with nothing, we amass all we can, and in the end, we leave without it. We need things and people to live, don’t get me wrong, but when we tie our lives’ meaning, purpose and worth to them, we lose ourselves to those things and those people. We let go, and we become free. Free to be who we are and to love unconditionally as we were meant to.
By Sitawa Margaret
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