How patriarchy put women in control of sexual pleasure

One of the characteristics of living things is that when they mature, they can reproduce their own kind. Whichever method of reproduction is carried out (sexual or asexual) it ensures the continuity of life. In most cases, like in the human family, continuity of life follows a pattern of courtship. Courtship is a dominant reproductive behaviour expected to coincide with mating and fertilization. It brings about paring, territoriality, mating, and reproduction.

Courtship as a reproductive behaviour communicates attraction by members of the opposite sex in response to instinctive stimuli or sex drive or libido. Libido is developed from biological instincts that make courtship a pleasure-seeking venture. Invariably, pleasure became a reward (motivation) towards the attainment of continuity of life. However, it seems men are more aggressive in matters regarding sex drive than women. Is this an instinctual biological imbalance or was it nurtured?

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One of the problems of the patriarchy system is the impact it had on sex becoming a tool for power and manipulation. In a man dominated society, demands on them were huge; they always have to be responsible, in control and socialized to suppress their emotions and vulnerabilities. These expectations brought many of them despair, repression, and disappointments as they are confronted with events and realities beyond their control. Inwardly, they seek and nurture release from the vanity of life developing a strong desire for adventure and pleasure; they were trapped within the system they created.

In this scheme of things, women had little contribution to make, and so expectations of them were minimal. However, they suffered needs that must be fulfilled with less opportunities to do so. But understanding the weakness in the men: their strong desire for pleasure (sex) due to disillusionment, they developed the ability to delay their own desire. They can manipulate the strong sexual pleasure need of the men for what they need and want. Men’s elusive, fantasy journey for pleasure to be free from their oppressed state was brand-named love. Love making instead of life making is how patriarchy put women in control of sexual pleasure.

By Esemonu Gerald

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